Pa and Me

Growing up I idolized my Dad (Pa). He was like superman in my eyes and I felt I could never be good enough to be called his eldest son.

Let me give you a picture of my family:

(Pa) Bill McConnell (Dominate, handsome, charming, workaholic, leader)
(Lady) June Redding (Compliant, striking, brilliant, low self-esteem, lazy)
o Kayce (Dominant, efficient, charming, caring, leader)
o Linda (Compliant, beautiful, brilliant, nurturing, lazy)
o Bob (Compliant, smart, driven, charming, leader, low self-esteem)
o Bill Tom (Dominant, charming, leader, head-strong, maverick)
o Sherfy (Dominant, brilliant, witty, talented, head-strong)

We were a happy, church-going, close-knit family. No one in the family was a Christian but Lady (she received Christ when she was 9 years old and was raised Baptist). She married Pa because he was the “best looking man I'd ever seen” and she just assumed that he was a Christian, because he was a faithful church person,

Pa was the center of the family, He loved us, but was an absentee father while I was growing up, he held down a full-time job with the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) in Louisville, KY while going to night school to first get an accounting degree and then a law degree. During this time he would leave our home in St. Matthews early in the morning and work a full day at the IRS. Then he would take night classes at the University of Louisville and not get home until after we were in bed. He did this first for an accounting degree and then a law degree. After getting his accounting degree he studied and got his CPA and after getting his law degree he studied and passed the bar exam. Some nights he would not even come home at all, but study all night, then freshen up at the office and work another full day. So, I don't remember seeing much of Pa during the week for years. On Saturdays he assigned chores for all us kids to do and worked with us to do them (no one could keep up with Pa). Then we all went to church on Sunday (Pa taught the High School Sunday School class and Lady taught the Ladies Bible class).

Pa became a very successful lawyer and head of the Kentucky/Indiana/Ohio IRS office, He was offered a top job in Washington during the Eisenhower administration, but turned it down (because he didn't want his family to have to leave our home in Louisville). He then became Vice President/Treasurer of Lincoln Income Life Insurance Co. in Louisville. He built the company and trained the four executives who took his place when he retired (so it took four men to do the work that he had been doing). He had the Frank Lloyd Wright based architectural firm design and build a 13 story tower for the company (it was an outstanding architectural feat for its day).

He was focused totally on his career until I was ten years old. I came home from a sandlot baseball game at a park down the street one afternoon. The rain was pouring down and I had my glove tucked up under my T-shirt. Lady was so moved by the sad sight of her precious soaking-wet son that she confronted Pa. She told him, “You are missing the opportunity to be a father to your children,” Soon the whole family was caught up in Little League Baseball, I was groomed to be a star baseball pitcher, and Pa became President of the St. Matthews Little League. He oversaw a major improvement of the three baseball parks in the complex.

He closely followed my baseball career through several phases: Little League (9-12 years old), Connie Mack (13-18 years old), and High School (Freshman-Senior years). He was there at almost every game and was my strongest supporter.

Lady told everyone in the family that the day I was born “was the happiest day of her life”. Pa was the one that filled out my birth certificate. He named me Robert Redding McConnell (after my Mom – June Redding McConnell). I have always been thankful that I wasn't named for him (it would have been too great a burden for me to bear).

Lady and I were extremely close, ever since birth. We had thee things in common: a high intelligence (we call it the “Redding brain”), a sarcastic sense of humor (all five of us kids inherited Lady's sharp sense of humor), and a low self-esteem. Pa had movie-star good looks and was extremely charming. Lady was as smart as a whip (much smarter than Pa) and was an outstanding helpmeet and homemaker (cook, candy-maker, seamstress, etc.). She was a striking woman herself, but never felt that she could hold on to Pa. She also worked hard to keep our home clean (up to Pa's high standards). Her natural tendency was to put off housework and read all day She felt that the main reason that she was kept around was to cook and clean house.

I was Pa's favorite son and he often told me how proud he was of me. (He and Bill Tom were at odds from the beginning because both were strong-willed and neither would back down in their many arguments). In High School he said that I was a “Ten-talent person” (meaning that I was destined for great things). However, that put me under even greater pressure (and a feeling of hopelessness) in my attempts to measure up to him. In short, when growing up my idol was Pa and my goal was to be like him. Even though I was Pa's favorite son I never felt like I could ever measure up to him (He was my Superman). My not measuring up to Pa was the first of a long list of “failures” in my life.

Pa and I did have several things in common. (We were both leaders, driven, charming, organized, outgoing and popular)

Much later (in 1965) my excitement about my new faith in Jesus led Pa to commit his life to Him (I didn't realize that until much later) .